The detective says the man died in 2006. Gave me his full name. I found his obit online. Yep! It's him. 63 years old. That's right. Has his picture and everything.
WHAT??? He's lived in town all these years?? For some reason, I THOUGHT he left town! Where did I get that idea? Was it something I told myself as a little girl to make myself feel safe? Maybe. Because suddenly I feel threatened. But I don't need to feel threatened. He's dead. Have I felt threatened all these years? I didn't realize I did. (Probably because I thought he was far away from me.) So maybe that IS why I've been screaming in my sleep since I was a little kid. I never could remember the dream. I wake up the whole house and then can't even remember what is so horrible to make me scream like that! Will I ever remember the dream? Now that I know he's dead will I stop screaming? Hope so! It's a little embarrassing!
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I created this blog as a way to organize my thoughts and feelings. While I recognize that my feelings have room to grow in a different direction, I am not keeping this blog as a place to seek advice. I have a therapist who is helping me to grow at a pace that is comfortable for me. Encouragement is welcome. Advice is not!
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