Poem - When You're Twenty

This is the last poem I have a record of. This was a time of transition in my life. I had graduated from high school and didn't go to college. I had found a job working in an office for a flooring company. I think by this time, I had lost all hope that I would one day be the person I was created to be. I was probably experiencing depression - but I don't think we knew a lot about depression in those days.

WHEN YOU'RE TWENTY

....sometimes, it's hard to get up in the morning
to say hello to a new day -
When you know it won't be any different than the day before.

When on the outside,
You go through the motions of living
A perfectly happy life,
While on the inside, you're struggling,
Deep within yourself, to find out
Who you are and keep your sanity.

When on the outside,
You try to make people think you're happy
But on the inside, you're crying,
Hoping someone will realize you're not.

It's hard to accept the fact that you're all alone.

That your friends don't really know you
And you're family can't figure you out.

But what's even harder to accept,
Is that you don't even know yourself -
And wonder if you ever will - because
You know you can't go on like this.

Sometimes, I think I'll be twenty forever....

But I wonder how long forever can last.