I was reading a book by Wendy Maltz titled 'A Sexual Healing Journey.' In chapter 2 of that book, she lists 4 criteria to help a person determine if they had been sexually abused. A YES answer to any of them could indicate sexual abuse. I answered YES to all 4. They are as follows.
WERE YOU UNABLE TO GIVE YOUR FULL CONSENT? I was 10. Even if I HAD said yes, I was too young to fully understand and give consent. But the fact is - I SAID NO! So, YES, I was unable to give my full consent.
DID THE INCIDENT INVOLVE A BETRAYAL OF TRUST? YES, it did. He was my teacher. He was supposed to be looking out for me. I trusted him. He manipulated me into getting into that car with him.
DID IT INVOLVE HAVING YOUR PERSON OVERPOWERED? Yes, it did. I not only said 'no', I put my hands on my lap to hold my skirt down. HE pulled my hands away and held them back.
DID I FEEL ABUSED? Yes, I did. I didn't understand what happened. I felt embarrassed and ashamed - but didn't have a vocabulary at the time to explain that.
I WAS MOST DEFINITELY SEXUALLY MOLESTED.
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I created this blog as a way to organize my thoughts and feelings. While I recognize that my feelings have room to grow in a different direction, I am not keeping this blog as a place to seek advice. I have a therapist who is helping me to grow at a pace that is comfortable for me. Encouragement is welcome. Advice is not!
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